THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT: WHAT’S ON THIS DECEMBER

HA!MILTON JONES / DECEMBER 1 / G LIVE, GUILDFORD

This is not a musical. Milton Jones is tone deaf and has no sense of rhythm, but at least he doesn’t make a song and dance about it. He has more important things to discuss. Like giraffes…and there’s a bit about tomatoes. You might know him from Mock the Week, Live at the Apollo or Radio 4. Or that time he stood for the Scottish National Party, fought a hard campaign, but in the end had to respect the wishes of the people of Cardiff.  A whole new show of daftness. You know it makes sense. WARNING *contains jokes from the start.

For more information, visit trafalgartickets.com/g-live-guildford 

 

JO CAULFIELD – HERE COMES TROUBLE / DECEMBER 6 / THE ELECTRIC THEATRE, GUILDFORD

Uh oh, here comes trouble. Jo Caulfield is coming to Guildford’s, Electric Theatre, this December. From stories about arguing with strangers on trains to dealing with over-enthusiastic supermarket staff, and trying to recapture the magic in a long-term relationship to “helping” organise her newly divorced friend’s dating life, this is pure stand-up, delivered with nothing more than a microphone and a bad attitude.

For more information, visit electric.theatre

 

OPPIDAN / DECEMBER 6 / THIRTY3HZ, GUILDFORD

One of the fastest rising names in UK garage, Oppidan arrives at Thirty3Hz in Guildford for a night of pure vibes. Expect plenty of 2-step, 4 to the floor and a sell-out night – get some tickets quick. 

For more information, visit thirty3hz.com

LUCY PORTER: NO REGRETS / DECEMBER 6 + 14 / BELLERBY STUDIO, G LIVE, GUILDFORD

The irrepressible Lucy Porter bounces back into action with a show all about regrets. Frank Sinatra had too few to mention, but Lucy’s got hundreds, and she’s prepared to go into graphic detail about all of them. Disastrous dates, professional calamities, ruined friendships and parenting fails. Lucy describes all the mistakes she’s made, works out why they happened, and ponders how her life would have turned out if she’d acted differently. Book some tickets, no regrets. 

For more information, visit trafalgartickets.com/g-live-guildford

MALTINGS MONTHLY MARKET  / DECEMBER 7 / FARNHAM MALTINGS

Offering a treasure trove of curiosities, vintage gems, and craft created by local makers and designers, make your way to the Maltings Monthly Market to browse and buy from a variety of well-stocked stalls. Shop with peace of mind and find something special that you didn’t realise you needed until now.

For more information, visit farnhammaltings.com  

 

THE HERBALISER BAND / DECEMBER 7 / THE BOILEROOM, GUILDFORD

The Herbaliser Band arrive at The Boileroom in Guildford this month, promising a monumental night of live music and samples mashed together for your pleasure. Featuring original members Ralph Lamb (trumpet/flugelhorn), Andrew Ross (tenor/baritone saxflute), (Micah Moody (drums), Patrick Dawes (percussion) with James Morton (Alto Sax)Oliver Parfitt (keyboards), Conor Cotterill (bass) & of course DJ Ollie Teeba on the turntables.

For more information, visit theboileroom.net 

FILM CLASSICS: DIE HARD / DECEMBER 10 / NOVA CINEMA, WOKING

Some say, it’s the best Christmas movie of all time. Join John McClane as he wreaks havoc while trying to save the day. An absolute belter of a classic, starring Bruce Willis – head for Woking’s Nova Cinema for a night of movie nostalgia this December. 

For more information, visit novacinema.com

 

GLASS PAINTING WORKSHOP / DECEMBER 11 / CASS ART, KINGSTON

Explore your creativity and learn the art of glass painting at this workshop at CassArt in Kingston. Let your imagination run wild as you transform plain glass into stunning works of art. Whether you’re a beginner or an experienced artist, this event is perfect for anyone looking to try something new and have fun.

For more information, visit cassart.co.uk

 

RURAL ROARS / DECEMBER 11 / WONERSH MEMORIAL HALL

Live rurally? For instance in the achingly beautiful Wonersh, or any of the surrounding, equally beautiful rural villages in that neck of the woods? Get ready to roar with laughter as Rural Roars comedy night comes to Wonersh Memorial Hall for some festive funny. Your lineup on the night includes; Alasdair Beckett-King, Caroline Kennedy, Steve McLean, Paul F Taylor, and Mark Silcox. 

For more information, visit ticketsource.co.uk/rural-roars

 

HERSH DAGMARR: I LOVE THE NIGHTLIFE / DECEMBER 12 / THE ELECTRIC THEATRE, GUILDFORD

“I Love the Nightlife” is the new show by Hersh Dagmarr with Karen Newby on piano. Join them for a nocturnal themed celebration of the American Songbook with classics by Cole Porter, Gershwin, Rodgers and Hart, Kurt Weill, Stephen Sondheim and a few surprises. Expect a starry night of jazz age tales, elegant exhilaration and Art-deco thrills! Glitz, sequins and sparkling dress encouraged!

For more information, visit electric.theatre

MAKING SIMPLE BOOKS  / DECEMBER 12 / WEST HORSLEY PLACE

Love books? Fancy learning how to make them? In this one-day course you will explore a range of simple book formats and hand binding techniques, including a pamphlet book, a concertina book and the double concertina, a structure that your tutor, Tracey Bush, has utilised in her award-winning bindings, and has developed into unique structures.

For more information, visit westhorsleyplace.org

COMIC BOOKS AUCTION / DECEMBER 13 / EWBANKS AUCTION HOUSE, SEND

Comic book enthusiast? If you want to get your paws on some rare and vintage collectible comics then this is the one for you. Esteemed auctioneers, Ewbank’s, just off the A3 near Send, regularly have some great entertainment and memorabilia auctions, so whether your thinking of buying something special for yourself, or perhaps for one of your nearest and dearest this Christmas, check out Ewbank’s online or in person. 

For more information, visit ewbanksauctions.co.uk

 

MOCK TUDOR COMEDY / DECEMBER 13 / RIVERHOUSE BARN ARTS CENTRE, WALTON ON THAMES

For your fill of the silly stuff this month, make your way to Walton’s Riverhouse Barn Arts Centre and get ready for a giggle or two at the monthly Mock Tudor Comedy Club. Sit back and enjoy the quick wit of Jack Skipper on the stage and David Ward as MC, with more acts to be announced!

For more information, visit riverhousebarn.co.uk

 

ROCKEOKE / DECEMBER 13 / THE FIGHTING COCKS, KINGSTON

Like the idea of Karaoke but are just too darn punk rock to belt out some Kelly Clarkson? Well even if you are a punk rocker who loves to belt out some Kelly Clarkson, get a fix of the heavy stuff with Rockeoke over at The Fighting Cocks in Kingston. 

For more information, visit the-fighting-cocks.co.uk

DAVID GEDGE / DECEMBER 13 / PRYZM, KINGSTON

The David Gedge Duo visit Kingston to play a Seated show at Pryzm. It’s a rare opportunity to see David Gedge playing Wedding Present songs, this 60-minute set will feature David on acoustic guitar and Wedding Present guitarist Rachael Wood on electric. Expect a special night listening to Wedding Present Songs the way you’ve never heard them before. 

For more information, visit banquetrecords.com

GENERAL LEVY / DECEMBER 13 / THIRTY3HZ, GUILDFORD

The one and only, the Don-mega Ragga DJ, Drum and Bass boss man, who knows no bounds, one General Levy arrives at Guildford’s boutique-bass-place, Thirty3Hz. Get a ticket, quick sharp and expect pure vibes. 

For more information, visit thirty3hz.com

 

SOUND OF THE SIRENS / DECEMBER 14 / FARNHAM MUSEUM

Abbe Martin  and Hannah Wood are the Sound of the Sirens. Without being pigeonholed into any stereotypical genre, the instrumentation of the band is vast, and varied while, the pairs’ musical and vocal dexterity dovetail beautifully on the co-written songs, which range from emotive ballads, to up-beat, foot stomping, hands in the air, sing-along anthems.

For more information, visit farnhammaltings.com

HUNDRED WATT CLUB – A FESTIVE EVENING OF BURLESQUE / DECEMBER 14 / THE ELECTRIC THEATRE, GUILDFORD

Hundred Watt Club will unwrap their Christmas presents for you at this very special festive evening of burlesque and vaudeville. Full of naughty but nice treats for your eyes and ears to devour, expect a night of teasing and tinsel and Guildford’s Electric Theatre.

For more information, visit electric.theatre

ADAM KAY: TWAS THE NIGHTSHIFT BEFORE CHRISTMAS / DECEMBER 18 – 19 / ROSE THEATRE, KINGSTON

The nation’s twelfth-favourite doctor shares entries from his festive diaries alongside brand-new stand-up and Christmas songs, fresh from a record-breaking run at the Edinburgh Fringe and a sell-out season in the West End. Adam Kay comes to Rose Theatre with his love letter to all those who spend the most wonderful time of the year on the NHS front line, removing babies, chocolate wrappers, remote controls, and fairy lights from the various places they get stuck.

For more information, visit rosetheatre.org

BEHIND YOU / DECEMBER 20 – 21 / RHODA MCGW THEATRE, WOKING

Panto at Misery-on-Sea has not gone well and tonight, of all nights, a big producer is coming to see the show. Backstage, tensions rise, tempers fray and tantrums rage. The happy, glitzy family image of panto gives way to a far less wholesome world – the dark underbelly of showbiz – a world inhabited by people going nowhere, and they know it. This dark unsettling comedy is both funny and moving, giving the perfect bitter-sweet taste for Christmas …. But DO NOT bring the children.

For more information, visit atgtickets.com/rhoda-mcgaw-theatre

 

JAMES TAYLOR QUARTET / DECEMBER 21 / THE BOILEROOM, GUILDFORD

Exuding an electrifying fusion of funk, soul, and jazz and led by Hammond organ maestro James Taylor, the James Taylor Quartet are renowned for their dynamic performances, seamlessly blending groove laden rhythms with soulful melodies. Get a ticket quick for an extraordinary night of live music at The Boileroom in Guildford. 

For more information, visit theboileroom.net 

 

BIG COUNTRY / DECEMBER 27 / THE BOILEROOM, GUILDFORD

From humble beginnings in Fife, Scotland to opening for the likes of the Rolling Stones and Jimmy Page, Big Country’s new-wave, folk-tinged rock left a distinct mark on Britain’s ’80s scene.  Catch them live at the intimate environs of The Boileroom in Guildford this December.

For more information, visit theboileroom.net 

 

SWAN LAKE  / DECEMBER 27 – 29 / G LIVE, GUILDFORD

The grace and elegance of Swan Lake is a joy to behold and the dramatic tale of love and betrayal ensuring it remains one of the world’s most popular ballets. Tchaikovsky’s soaring score, performed by a live orchestra, adds the finishing touch to a spectacular treat for one and all this Christmas. Get your Swan on and book tickets quick. 

For more information, visit trafalgartickets.com/g-live-guildford 

 

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